When you are meeting or hiring a new person, it is difficult to find out if they are trustworthy. Always remember that the first impression may be, but it is often wrong, so it is important to observe the person’s behavior to seek proofs of her character through references, statements, and testimonies.
Part 1: Analyzing the behavior of the person
1. Watch her gaze.
Many people believe it is possible to find out if the other is lying in the direction of their gaze: up and to the right indicates truth, up and to the left indicates a lie. Unfortunately, no study has proven this theory. Keep eye contact does not always mean that the person is telling the truth because not every liar looks away. What you can do, in fact, is observe the pupil of the person: those who usually are lying have the pupil dilated, which indicates tension and concentration.
- Anyone can look away when they get a difficult question because the answer needs a little concentration. Still, a layman will probably take less time to figure out the answer, whereas a person thinking in a sincere way will take longer.
- As much as eye contact is not a reliable determinant, the person who does it is more likely to be an excellent communicator, feeling comfortable in their vulnerability.
2. Stay alert to body language
To analyze the level of trust, a person deserves, analyze her body and how it presents itself to others. Obviously, remember that many of the “tips” that the body passes demonstrate tension and nervousness, which may indicate that the person is lying or is simply uncomfortable.
Sincere people usually maintain an open body language, with their hands on the sides of the body and the trunk turned toward the others. If she folds her arms, curve her spine or turn her body in the other direction during the conversation, a sign that she is not so sure about herself and is probably hiding something.
If body language seems tense, stay tuned. It is possible that the person is only nervous, but studies show that the physical tension usually arises during the lies.
The mind usually squeezes its lips when it hears a sensitive question. Normally, the person also moves his hair, pokes his fingernails or makes gestures with his hands.
Step 3: Keep an eye on meeting commitments.
Reliable people usually arrive on time in commitments to demonstrate that they value others’ time. If the person is usually late or simply lacking the commitments, it is best not to trust her too much.
If she cancels plans or changes schedules without telling others, she indicates that she does not value people’s time much or that she has difficulty managing appointments. In a workplace, this behavior is unreliable, unprofessional. In casual situations, it shows that a person does not value friends’ time and you probably should not count on them.
Part: 2 Analyzing your interactions
1. See how she responds to difficult or challenging questions.
If you are interviewing the person for a job interview, ask a difficult question. It does not have to be aggressive or misleading, just focus on open-ended questions that need critical thinking to be answered. Let the other respond openly and honestly.
For example, you might ask what was the biggest challenge the person faced in the previous job and if she had any difficulty with the skills or expectations in the old job. It is normal to take time to respond, but be careful to see if she tries to change the subject or avoid the question as this may indicate that she is hiding something about the job or that she would not like to think about the situation.
2. Ask personal questions that require detailed answers.
Instead of asking questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no,” encourage the person to explain the answers, beginning with “Can you tell me a little more about …?”, For example. If you suspect she’s lying, ask general questions and deepen them. Try to observe the inconsistencies in the details, because liars do not usually keep the same story for long, especially when it becomes more complex.
The liar will probably return the conversation to you. If you think you do not know much about each other, even after a few conversations, or if you feel that you are learning more about yourself than about yourself, you are dealing with someone with little confidence.
3. Listen to the person talking
According to studies, the mind usually has several tics. Be aware not only of what is said but also of the way in which all is said. Some things to note:
- Few pronouns in the first person. Those who mind often do not speak “I” so often, either to avoid responsibility for their own behavior, to distance themselves from the stories they are telling or to appear less invested in the situation.
- Words that refer to negative emotions. Experts suggest that people with trust issues usually feel anxious and guilty, and this is visible in vocabulary, which usually involves more negative terms.
- Few words to exclude. “Except” and “but” are terms that indicate that the person is trying to make a distinction between what happened and not. Those who have a harder time dealing with this complexity do not use such terms so often.
- Unusual details. People who use mind less often than usual tell stories. Sometimes one also justifies one’s own responses without questioning them.
4. Look for mutuality
Reliable people usually respect mutuality and collaborative communication. If you feel that you need to always ask for important information or cannot get the help you need without asking for it, you may not be dealing with a trustworthy individual.
5. Evaluate speech speed
Getting into a relationship too fast can be a warning sign that the person can be abusive. If she pushes you for faster commitment or tries to distance you from your friends and family to have it “for yourself,” a sign that you are not a very trustworthy person.
6. Notice how she treats others
Individuals who do not deserve trust can strive hard to prove their worth, and interactions with them can often be normal. Still, maintaining that facade appearance is difficult, and at one time or another, the person will make a slip. Observe her interacting with others: does she gossip co-workers? Does it mistreat restaurant staff? Do you lose control during discussions? These are all signs of untrustworthy and trustworthy people.
Part 3: Achieving evidence of character
1. Check out the social networks
It is difficult to maintain a lying image all the time, especially with the connection allowed by the internet. According to studies, a person’s Facebook profile is more likely to represent her real personality than a face-to-face conversation. If you have any reservations regarding the person’s trustworthiness, look for their profiles on the network and see if they are consistent with the past image when you find it.
According to studies, virtually everyone tells “white lies”, especially on dating sites. These are smaller attempts to present themselves in the best possible way, such as talking that is a little thinner or taller, for example. The chances of lying increase when we look for a pair, but only for simple and mundane things.
2. Ask for at least three references
If you are interviewing a person for a job, you must ask for at least three references, two professionals, and one staff.
Observe if the person refuses or avoids the subject of referrals. A trusted candidate will be more than willing to introduce people who attest to his or her character, for he has nothing to worry about.
Watch out for people who refer you as close relatives or close friends. The best options are people the candidate knows personally and professionally and who can attest to his character with no bias examples.
3. Ask for character testimonials for references
Once you have the contact of the people listed, talk to them and ask basic questions to get a better idea of the candidate’s character, including basic information such as how they met, whether they were in a professional or personal situation, how long ago know, among other things. Also, ask if the person would recommend the candidate to the vacancy and ask for examples that illustrate the candidate’s ability.
Be alert if the contract says something suspicious about the candidate or provides information that questions his or her trustworthiness. Contact the candidate to discuss the comment on his reference and allow him to explain himself, especially if he is in the process of hiring him.
4. Ask for other personal information
Including background information or a list of past employers. If you still have any questions about the person’s character, you can ask for some more information. If she has the plug cleaned, there is no reason to try to conceal something.
The list of past employers and contact information can be an indicator that the person has nothing to hide and is willing to keep all communication channels open with you.
If you’re stuck behind a person you met socially, check her history on the internet.